Fine Again
by AshleighAishwarya
Summary: After the shooting, 9x22 Mayday, Horatio lies in the hospital, reflecting on whether or not he's going to be "Fine Again"
1. Never Fine Again

**Hi all! Ashleigh Aishwarya here. I'm back to CSI: Miami for just a little bit. I'm working on my Halo fan-fictions for the time being. But this oneshot was something I decided to do because I listened to this song called "Fine Again" by Seether. It's always been one of my favourites and this idea popped up. **

**I decided to this oneshot on Horatio's thoughts: how he felt at the time of the shooting, after the surgery where he's in the hospital.**

**This is from Horatio's point of view :) As always, this is dedicated to my sister and PiC (Partner in Crime), CSI Haylez :) And also to lilgenious, daxy, furryfurbi, Roots4Miami :)**

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**CSI: Miami – Horatio Caine – "Fine Again"**

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_**It seems like every day's the same**_

_**And I'm left to discover on my own**_

_**It seems like everything is gray**_

_**And there's no color to behold**_

_**They say it's over and I'm fine again, yeah**_

_**Try to stay sober, feels like I'm dying here**_

_No… No, not like this. Not now… G-get up! Get up, Horatio! Natalia… she's… Just get up! Come on!_

I told myself to get up, despite that gnawing pain I was feeling in my abdomen.

_Come on, Horatio!_

I grunted in pain, using my service pistol for support. I tried to get my cell phone out. Weak, I tried to pull it out of my coat pocket. I hit the speed dial button, not knowing who it was in the first place.

"Yeah, H?"

Eric! "Uhh…" I grunted in pain. "Eric… Help… please…" I begged, as my vision started to get blurry.

"H? What's wrong? Is everything okay?" He started to get worried.

"Help… me…" My voice trailed off, as I slipped into unconsciousness.

I was unconscious, but I heard Eric's screams. He was calling out my name, he was yelling at a paramedic; I remember trying to tell Eric that Natalia had been locked in a car trunk and that she was pushed into the water. Then I heard… Alexx. She was telling me that I was going to be just fine, told me to hang in there.

"Horatio, just hang in there! You're going to be fine!" She was frantic.

In all honesty, I was holding on as best I could. But it's no use. I can't hold on anymore. I can't. I swear to God, I'm trying but I can't!

I'm sorry, you guys… I'm sorry, Kyle… but I'm not going to make it this time.

_**You say it's over, I can sigh again, yeah**_

_**But why try to stay sober when I'm dying here?**_

_**And I am aware now of how**_

_**Everything's gonna be fine**_

_**One day, too late, I'm in Hell**_

_**I am prepared now**_

_**Seems everyone's gonna be fine**_

_**One day, too late, just as well**_

The next thing I knew, I was looking into a white light. I thought it was Heaven, but no. It was just a ceiling light.

The pain I was feeling in my abdomen restricted my movements. I couldn't believe I was still alive. I thought I was done for.

I didn't even expected to get shot. I never expected… God, what was going on?

I heard the door click open. I turned my head to find Eric. It was so good to see a familiar face. "Uh…" I wanted to call out his name, but nothing escaped my windpipe.

"It's okay, Horatio." He reached out for my arm. "Don't try to speak. You can't stress yourself in anyway."

"Na… Natalia…" I finally managed to release those words.

"We got to her in time. We managed to figure out what you were mumbling about when we got you into the emergency room." He smiled. "She's unconscious, but she'll live."

I rested my head back unto the soft pillow in relief. I was so glad that she was safe. I would've never forgiven myself for letting her almost drown right in front of me. She was my CSI. She was my responsibility. I couldn't have-

"H, it okay now." Eric interrupted my thoughts. "We're going to get Randy. You can leave it to us. You need to rest."

He noticed the look of uncertainty on my colour-deprived face. I was looking terrible, in fact.

"Randy's not going to get away from this. He's going down. You're going to be just fine, H. You're going to be fine."

I left like giving a short laugh. Fine? What's fine? Look at me. I'm in a hospital right now. Why? Because I wasn't careful. And Natalia? She's unconscious because I didn't look out for her as her boss!

I don't think I know what's the true meaning of being "fine" anymore. When that bullet hit me hard, and I fell to my knees, I was seeing my entire life flashing before my eyes: My brother, mom, Kyle…

Marisol…

I could've sworn she was calling out for me at one point. She was calling my name. Aw, who am I kidding? I was imagining it. She's… not here… She never was to begin with...

And the truth is? I'm not going to be okay at all.

I was _never_ going to be fine again.

_**I am prepared now**_

_**Seems everything's gonna be fine**_

_**For me, for me, for myself**_

_**For me, for me, for myself**_

_**For me, for me, for myself**_

_**I am prepared now for myself**_

_**I am prepared now and I am fine again **__**–**_**Seether "Fine Again"**


	2. I'll Be Just Fine

**CSI: Miami – Horatio Caine – "Fine Again"**

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It's been about a day since I've been shot. I'm still in the hospital, lying on my back, staring at the blank ceiling in front of me. The pain in my abdomen continued to gnaw at me. I found it so uneasy and so difficult to move. I hated this. I hated this so much…

I mean, I've gotten hurt physically before: 1995, Walter Resden. When he stabbed me. We were in a fight then and I knew there was a chance I could get hurt.

But this was a _gunshot_. I did not see it coming at all. My entire life had flashed before my eyes! Everything I went through, everybody I met, everybody I _loved_, I was seeing all of it.

I just wanted to see a familiar face right now. I wanted to talk to somebody. But the Team was looking high and low for Randy. I was all alone. And I don't like it.

No sooner had I thought about that, the door clicked opened. I turned my head to find Kyle.

My beloved son.

Words couldn't express how happy I was right now. I had badly wanted to see a familiar face. Someone who could tell me that everything was going to be okay. My spirit had been trashed and I really needed the support.

"Dad!" He called out, obviously frantic. He walked up to my side. "Dad! Oh my God, you're-you're okay!"

I smiled. "I'm okay. I'm okay, Kyle. Can you please help me sit up?" I requested.

Clasping both my hands tightly, he pulled me up gently. Pain swept over my entire body, but I tried to hide it as best I could.

"Who did this to you?" He demanded to know.

When he said that, I started to see the rage build up in his eyes. "I'm not telling you."

"What?" He was confused by my answer. "Why not?"

"I know that look in your eyes, Kyle. If I tell you, you're going to go on a hunting trip, find this guy, and then do something stupid." I said. "Don't you think I'd know by now what your next actions would be?"

Kyle stared at me with a little gap in his mouth.

"Kyle, I know you. You tend to take an insult personally. When that happens, you end up punching someone. In this case, I got shot. I hate to think what you're going to do!"

"You're my father! Someone _shot_ you! I'm not going to let this guy get away scot free!" He argued.

"He's not, Kyle. The Team are on it. They'll get him. They always do." I said calmly. "You don't to worry a thing." I could see that he wasn't satisfied. My word wasn't good enough. But stay what else could I say? I didn't want him to do anything stupid.

"Dad, you don't get it." He sat on the bed, looking very dejected. It was like the sun in his sky had been knocked right out. "You would constantly tell me how dangerous it was being in the Army. You would always tell me to look out for myself, make sure I was fine, make sure that I'd come home alive. You'd say that _all_ the time. But do you know how much I wanted to say something like that to _you_? You're in a dangerous line of duty, Dad. We're no different. Every day, you risk your life for the people of this city. You're bound to get hurt. While you're busy worrying about me, I've been worrying about you."

I didn't know whether to smile or cry. His words were tugging at my heart strings.

"Every day I'd wonder to myself "Is Dad going to be there when I get home?", "Is he going to be there to tell me I'm stubborn just like mom?", "Is he going to be on my side, even though the fault is mine?". He looked at me with that face that would tear me up inside. I never liked it if he were upset. "How come it's okay for you to be worried about me but I can't be worried you?"

"Kyle… you really feel this way?" That was all I managed to ask.

"Yes, Dad!" He almost cried out. "You're my father," He clasped my hand. "And I love you very much."

That did it for me. I hugged him as tight as I could. I took a deep breath, trying to control the tears. I never knew that I had made such an impact on Kyle. All these years of trying to be a father to him, it was all thanks to him. "Thank you."

I take it back. I take it _all_ back. I _was_ going to be fine again.

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**First of all: One-shots turning into Two-shots FTW!**

**Second: The Ultimate Father & Son Team FTW! XD**


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